Monday, 08 October 2012

• Tips for the business Woman: Sometimes you have to flaunt what ya got

  And somtimes you hide it:

  Why I do not say who my boyfriend is. *A Tip to the business woman:

  I am currently in a serious relationship, very nice guy in New York City.  But we do not say our names on FB.  We are monogamous and say we are in relationships, we just keep who we are private.  Many a couples do this these days.  I know married couples that  keep their maiden names (not even hyphenated) and just put 'married' as their FB status, they might even have the spouse in a pic with them.  A tip for the business  lady, do not name your spouse/boyfriend/girlfriend

  Especially if

  A: You are considered 'attractive' by  (more so male) standards, or if you look YOUNG for your age

  B:  You worked together at some point (even if far in the past when you were entry level or your first job) or you are in the same field

  C: If the male is 'higher up' or makes more (even if in totally different field)..or if he is much BELOW you or much younger/older 

  The reason standing is that companies and businesss nowadays check your references on your resume but...most of them do web searches as well.  Most businesses will Fb search you.  I've heard horror stories of them even requesting for you to give them your password.  If you want to be together and love each other enough it will withstand the test of time, no doubt,  but in business especially or a male dominated field, you should be judged on your own credentials and work history not who you are with.  Even if subconscious their perception of you will be altered and could factor into their consideration for you in hirement or job position.  I do not normally even say my religous beliefs, my political party  or even my gender orientation.   I am straight but I know many gays and lesbians that do not put their spouse or life partner on there FB status purely so they will not be hired/not hired based on those terms.  (some do not like special treatment or to be seens as different)

   

  Tip#1:   Looks are important.  Showing you care more about your health and person (personal style ergo your personality) over vanity or superfical beauty shows professionality and confidance (the fact I did not resort to cosmetic surgery and I'm not afraid to show my physical imperfections)

  #Show them what you look like: (I'm using myself as the example.  Hey I'm here and at my disposal so why not)

  You know I've always been considered 'hot but sorta weird looking', even if I dressed like the typical soroity girl and didn't have the punk hair-do,  I still look a little weird.  I'm not tall (5'3)  I'm a little 'too skinny' and my face is lopsided.   I'm a mixed ethnic heritage.  Either Russian-Korean...possibly some Japanese.  I have these small oriental eyes...and then this long pointy nose. And my front tooth is dead.

  I got hit in the face with a field hockey stick during high school, and broke my tooth.  It also killed my tooth.  I'm athletic I have the 'ballet' body type narrow  hips and ripcage, I was a serious figure skater for many years.   I have healthy teeth, I had braces, my teeth are fairly straight but it came up as an option to cap the tooth and I declined.  I am well groomed and dress trendy (I'm hygenic) but it has been too much of an asset for me in the business world to KEEP my real teeth and show that I'm not afraid to smile with a defect.  Plus it makes me look tough.  I TRY to wear low cut tops to show off my chest scars too and show my flat chest and arm muscles.  Same with my haircut; it's a flapper 20's bob with a  couture longer angle and a streak. 

  It's all to make men aware I'm not there to be their sex toy or play thing.  I'd rather them fear and loathe or be put off by me than think I'm trying to be attractive for them.  I don't care if they are not attracted to me, I don't mix business with pleasure to begin with.

   

  Photos of me the editor Amanda S.cowen

  My eyebrow is naturally higher than the other and my eye droops.  I'm not raising my eyebrow mysteriously or debonaire.  When I had my open heart operation they damaged a nerve ending that went in the muscle of my eye lid and my reflex in that eye (my right, your left) is slower.  It doesn't really show if you see me in person but it shows up in photos with a flash.  I look like I'm winking in most photos or  I'm arching my eyebrow, my eye just can't blink faster than the flash shot.

   

  Tip2#  Make it clear what your looks are for:  Prove beyond a doubt what you do for a living (I am not a model, stripper or in pornography!)

  I think a lot of people don't understand that models are not overly good looking on average and it's how photogenic they are, not how 'good lookin' they are.  In fact my features, although in real life in person are striking and what you might see in a billboard or an add in a magazine, are not what the average commerical modeling agency wants.

  They can 'make' those girls look like me with lightening and make-up but my features are too strong naturally,  I do not have much versatility.  They want plainer, more generic features that they can play around with and symmetry.  For all my glory with my gaunt high check bones....they can achieve that with bronzer, angle and lighting with another girl with a 'softer' face naturally AND she can also look completely different in another photo.  So I basically look like a fashion model walking down the street from afar but I'm not photogenic enough, tall enough and my face is too asymetrical to actually model.

   

   

   

   My chest (Amanda)

   

  I had open heart surgery as a kid for 'tetrology of Fallot'.  They cut an incision from my collar bone down to the bottom of my ribcage in oder to pry open my ribcage enough to get to my heart.  I've had these scars since I was a small child (I had open heart surgery when I was 5 years old)  and if you haven't noticed I'm flat.  Unless you see this, that is NOT ME. (bozos) Just because you want me to be in porn or a stripper doesn't make 'any girl' turn into me (I do not become them, just because you want to imagine that it is me)  just because you  'think I I look like one' or you want me to be one: "I think shes a stripper because her shirt is unbuttoned in ONE pic down the  center where her scar is' don't make it so.   Okay:  "I'm in a sports bra, I just came back from the gym" doesn't magically turn it into a set for a porno or make me become one of the girls in the ads for a hook-up sex site either.  It does not make it so.  You can wish me to be one all you want but that doesn't make it a reality.

   www.amandascowen.org

   

  -Amanda

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